Third Way: Swiping Left On Love
mapodile
The intersectionality of intimate relationships and political affiliations is one rife with change. With the seemingly sudden integration of dating apps, modern relationship slang, and an ongoing shift in gender role dynamics, we see “classical” styles of dating gradually exiting stage right.
The online dating fad began to truly gain traction in 2012, with the release of the first “swipe-based” dating app: Tinder. Tinder, which was designed to help individuals meet and match in a quick, easy-to-understand format, saw rapid growth and an eventual almost complete monopolization of the online dating scene. Within 2 years of its creation, Tinder saw an estimated 50 million active users. Despite its reputation as being a breeding ground for casual sex and anonymous hook-ups, Tinder sees a wide range of daters with varying relationship goals. To acknowledge this and create transparency between matches, Tinder provides its users with the option to declare what they're looking for. With tags ranging from “still figuring it out” to “long-term partner”, Tinder makes it easy for individuals to seek out like-minded people to begin (hopefully) compatible connections and conversations with.
Dating apps, however popular, are still grounds for frustration, especially as politics seeps further into the algorithm. Many modern-day dating apps, such as Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble, allow users to display their political stance publicly for potential matches to see and weigh in accordance with their own belief system and level of acknowledgment given to political alignment within romantic relationships. This feature, while allowing for a level of transparency that caters to an especially volatile political landscape, also has many people failing to speak out of fear of deception.
Among women on dating apps, it is widely held belief that when men list their political affiliation as “moderate” or “apolitical,” it is an attempt to disguise potentially more conservative views that may dissuade women from matching with them. This has led many women to immediately swipe left on men who opt for these neutral political stances, whether they reflect their true beliefs accurately or not.
A study done before the 2025 Inauguration Day by popular dating app Hily found that 1 in 3 American women’s perspectives on their partners is altered by whether their political stances align or not. Compared to 1 in 4 men who said the same. This reflects the definite importance of political agreement within modern interpersonal relationships.
In an effort to flip the script on modern dating and bring more men onto the in-person dating scene, some speed dating events have changed their ticket prices to reflect the imbalance of men and women in attendance. Venues that saw frequent situations of many women vying for the attention of a few men made the decision to try an alternate method of speed dating: the women paid the cover charges, and the men got in for free.
Along with the increased popularity of dating apps comes a new wave of vocabulary. Terms such as “situationship”, “talking stage”, and the “3-3-3 rule”, to name a few.
The 3-3-3 rule denotes a period of time from the point where two individuals are getting to know each other, i.e., the “talking stage,” through to when they are officially dating. It is as follows:
Three-Date Checkpoint - At this point, one is evaluating whether they get along with this person. Do they have the same sense of humor? Can they carry on a conversation? Do they enjoy being around them?
Three-Week Checkpoint - Once an individual has advanced past the first stage, it is on to the second “3”. This next area is when an individual evaluates how they feel having now spent a longer period of time together. Often, this is when one starts considering exclusivity and whether they could see a relationship with them.
Three-Month Checkpoint - Lastly, we have the three-month checkpoint. At this point, the couple has been together for three months and likely seen almost, if not all, sides of each other. The honeymoon stage is over, and they’ve settled into a routine. This is when one decides whether this relationship is going to be a short-term fling or something they want to pursue further. A common situation in modern-day dating is the term “three-month curse,” which denotes that moment when a couple decides that they have been in a state of love-sick delusion and thus may not truly be compatible. It is often the point where most couples break up.
Modern-day dating has shifted into an entirely new category of intimate relationships. It has taken to the internet and created a sphere of confusing jargon, overcomplicated evaluations, and connections based upon a video game-like system. These are only made worse by the addition of political volatility to the romantic sphere. This is not to say that modern-day dating is a detriment to love; there are many people who have found their significant others on dating apps and lived out their happily-ever-after. This is merely an analysis of the ways in which technology and political transparency (or rather not) have soured many to the idea of dating and altered the ways in which society views romance as a whole.